TCC V v Calthorpe III

The Fifth Dimension, still seeking their first win of the season, departed The Green for semi-regular home ground Imber Court in good spirits and with the sun on their backs for their game against last-season's pushovers, but this year's suprise package, Calthorpe. A stronger batting line than usual in addition to the regular bowling menace contributed substantially to the sense of optimisim.

All that was unfounded, however. No sooner had cars been parked, bags been stowed in the dressing room and the pitch given the once-over the skies blackened and down came the rain.

The starting time came and went with the Ts still surveying a scene more appropriate to the rugby season and little had changed when the oppo finally made it round the semi-aquatic North Circular. A brief conversation with the groundsman yielded little hope, but with the Calthorpe captain eager to sit and wait out the rain there was no choice but to put the feet up and tell tales of Gilbert's pads (or lack thereof), Masher's perversions (no lack thereof) and cricketing prowess (...).

With the situation still poor, an early tea was taken at half past three, with an inspection due at quarter past four. Once again the sandwiches, despite being pleasent were in markedly short supply, much to the irritation of Suvan 'The guy who works down the chip shop' Sharma, who, unfamiliar with this arrangement, found the cupboard completely bare upon his arrival with plate.

Stand-in skipper Henderson decided if we were going to have to sit around all day, we may as well try to make a go of it and comandeered the Met's super-sopper to take the worst off the pitch and, with the groundsman not around to say otherwise, the sides agreed to get on with it, with three and a half hours to try to obtain a result.

Winning the toss, the Ts elected to bat and N 'Beatles' Hairdo' Walder and new-boy Nitesh 'Rude Boy' Patel started off. Nik under instruction to stay there, Nitesh eyeing the 150 to make the game worth more than a hand-shake. A single off the first ball from Walder saw Patel waste no time, attacking a wide one next ball before biffing two fours straight down the ground.

Jenkins, the rather sharp folically-misendowed seamer from the tennis court end slowed things down with a maiden before an over-head-high bouncer prompted much chin-stroking from the sidelines. "What are you doing with us?" one of the lines delivered to him as he arrived in the away dressing room. We get the picture.

The combination of brisk bowling and squelchy bounce did for the debutante Patel after four overs, holing out after misjudging the height from Chisnall at the football ground end. Sharma joined Walder at the crease before rain intervended again and another bout of navel gazing ensued.

The players were on and off again three further times with umpire Sanchez taking no nonsense from a now over-eager away skipper. Sharma was lost on the way for five giving U15s keeper Sam Webb a senior debut with blade before finally another shower left standing water on the square at quarter past six and the match could be abandoned. Walder finishing not out 15 and Webb not yet off the mark, with 37 on the board after 19.3 overs.

Seven points for both sides not the worst of results for the Ts, especially given Calthorpe's obvious desperation to get their bolstered number into the game, but wins are going to have to come soon if the Fives aren't going to find themselves back in the basement division at the start of next season.