TCC II v CYPOS

Sunday 23 September 2007

Normally the Sunday Twos spend this weekend of the season feet-up in front of Sunday Grandstand (RIP), perusing the lighting section of Homebase with the missus or swilling shandy after having chased an inflated sheep's bladder around a square field like a bunch of overpaid hairdressers.

But not this year. One week after the traditional end-of-season Englefield Green fixture, the team creaked out for one more jolly on The Green against the amusingly-named wandering side Can You Play On Sunday.

Standing in for the regular B&Q-laden skipper Payne, Henderson started as he meant to not go on and lost the toss. The CYPOS skipper, however, displayed exactly the right way to win friends and influence people and invited the Ts to have first knock on the ever-excellent Green pitch.

Hough and Walder opened up and raced to 14 off the first two overs. Variable bowling from both ends saw this rate continue until Disco fell, bowled, in the tenth over, only eight runs distant from a fifty. His thirteen run-scoring shots peppered with no fewer than nine boundaries.

Walder was joined by Sanchez in a rekindling of their Saturday twos opening partnerships of years gone by. Sadly Nik couldn't stick around much longer and found himself caught on the back foot and adjuged LBW for 28 to the lively first-change Sri Lankan Anandakumar (or 'Flipper', according to his shirt).

This second wicket saw a bit of a dip in the run-rate as Sanchez struggled to deal with the slippery televisual sea mammal, proffering three chances before getting off the mark, and a further two as his innings progressed. Tom Huntington, at the far end, showed he'd lost no appetite for the game during his time out of the team, but seemingly he had lost his ability to judge a run. Calling, described by some as 'suicidal', turned homicidal as, dropping the ball at his feet, he called Sanchez through for a single. The bowler, ahead of Sanchez all the way down the pitch, collected the ball, but inexplicably elected to shy from six yards. Seeing the ball miss the stumps, a naturally relieved Gilbert took his foot off the gas only to fail to ground his bat at the run in. The wicketkeeper collected and shied a second time. Cricket, by general agreement, was not the winner. Gilbert gone for 17.

Mid-wobble there can be fewer Sunday seconds cricketers one would like to see more than the ethereal herbivore Donelan. In an uncharacteristic show of acceleration Donners warmed up by drilling the ball to each close fielder in turn before, with the still-miscalibrated Huntington, putting on a burst of 27 runs in five overs. Alas, Donners was to hand the first wicket of the day to the niggling left-arm spinner at the Green Spice end as he was coaxed down the wicket and just failed to get back in time. A quickfire 17 bringing the total to 146 off 23.

Last week's star performer, still pushing for the mantle of TCC's top scoring sauerkraut-supper, Kriess launched off the mark with a trademark pull and ensured the rate was maintained until Huntington's calling yielded a second wicket, this time his own. A missed sweep from Holger saw the ball run into the leg side, Huntington called for a leg-bye and set off, but the fives skipper looked less likely to advance than the Western Front. In a fine example of nature restoring the natural balance of things, it was Sanchez, umpiring at Tom's end, who's finger went up faster than England's odds post-South Africa.

Replacing the hirsute Frenchman, Jim Porter never really got going and he and Holger were to fall two overs apart, Holger the second stumping for the left-armer, going for a useful 21 and Jim his third wicket, trapped LBW, albeit potentially a mite unluckily.

With the game finely poised at 177/7 and with 8 overs to spare, the big-hitters were promoted to shift it along. Pete Burke did just that, harassing leather to fence three times from his first four shots and two-goal Moorland hero Matt Bendelow gaining excellent return for his.

Pete was cleaned up with two and a half overs to go for a rapido 24, allowing Bobby Freeman to act as support to Benders, trying to get in his fifty before the overs expired. Needing 14 from the last over and on strike, he was cheered on eagerly from the sidelines as he clattered a two and two boundaries, but could only manage two from the last ball, and thus brought the innings to a close with an excellent 8-over 48*. Bobby registered 2* at the far end for a grand total of 259/8 off the 40.

Tea was munched with one eye on the Manchunian Scum playing the spasming Chelski, and was necessarily rushed with the increasingly overcast conditions assuring a darkened end to the day's play.

Burkey kicked off from the Pavilion end and immediately found a decent spot to hit. Carry was good and on multiple occasions per over the ball fizzed past the outside edge of the number two, Miller's, bat. That didn't stop the Flipper from lashing anything too straight over midwicket, however, and the small boundary located there suggested this could be a tight game.

With Payne still perusing  wallpaper patterns at Do-It-All and replacement Saunders needing his season ticket at Teddington Memorial again the day before, Matt Bendelow was drafted in to perform swing bowling duties at the Green Spice end. The bumfluff-touting belt-avoider whistled his first over down with good movement, but found himself harshly dealt with, as two thickish edges eluded both slips and gully and ran away for boundaries.

His revenge was soon to come, however. With the score approaching 50 without loss, and the skipper getting nervous about the rest of his attack facing the destructive Flipper, Benders made the breakthrough, albeit slightly fortuitously, when he parried a searing Sri Lankan straight drive onto the non-striker's stumps. Miller was clearly upset, but there was no other decision to make, and that's the gamble of backing up.

The fall of wicket brought the tall, left-handed Hubbard to the centre, and whilst he scratched around at first, it became slowly apparent his could be be a key wicket. This was emphasised when Pete, less charging and now more plodding in, took a deserved wicket with a bit of a strangle. Aided by the magical effect of the first round of Pointless Clapping for a couple of months, Flipper was sent back to the pool thanks to a Free Willy-esque dive down the leg side from keeper Porter. Much sealion-ish applause and, although no-one balanced the ball on their nose, it's suspected Tommy peed in his trunks.

Now the chase was on. Henderson replaced Bendelow and found the usual assistance from the surface. Two tight overs let Burkey cut loose and he duly snaffled two cast-iron LBWs, both batsmen unpicked for ducks. Holger replaced the bowled out Burke, but found the nuggetty number three eager to exploit any variation from an off-side line and was luckless when he gave way to Bobby Freeman's brand of chinamen. No sooner had the diminutive spinner finished his first over, he'd swung the fate of the game decisively. One was steered back through the gate of Willis, the number 6, who departed for 18.

A tiring Henderson finally got in the wickets column as he trapped the number seven on the back foot for a blob as Freeman fired out another two, eliciting a splendidly casual one-handed take from Burke at mid-off and then once again rattling the stumps of the number nine. Henderson finally snicked out the lefty number three, four short of his half-century as a leading edge picked out Huntington at mid off. The batsman's call for two perhaps an homage to the Islingtonian's earlier contribution to the game.

With nine down, Henderson out of overs, and Gilbert's day-glo blue socks providing the only remaining light, the ball was tossed to the lofty block-merchant Donelan to considerable derision from the outfielders.

Now, it's said that during a still day on the savannah, even the human sense of smell can detect the pungent bodily secretions of a grazing giraffe up to a mile and a half away. Alas, the facing CYPOS bat must have had a cold as he completely failed to detect the stinking long-hop that Twickenham Green's own frequently-fractured quadruped served up first ball. As the number nine swished airily towards leg, the ball reached the peak of its bounce and descended back down onto middle and off to bring the innings to a close on 175.

CYPOS may feel that total would be slightly unflattering as two unlucky dismissals saw a stop to their adventurous start and the second half of the second innings was played in near blackness as the clouds drew in, but the Ts can rightly point to their aggressive batting display early in the game and excellent bowling to the CYPOS middle order pushing the run-rate to a point that the slows could do some damage.

Top marks to the CYPOS lads for playing the game in the right spirit and to top-hole performances from Hough, setting the tone for the game, Bendelow, for making the Ts favourites from the unattractive number eight spot, Burke for a straight spell of 3/43 and Freeman for cleaning up the tail with 3/22.

And thus closes the Sunday Twos account for the year. Just nudging ahead of the 50% wins mark for the season which has proved as eventful and entertaining as it has inclement. A team's thanks go to Richie Payne for organising the vast majority of teams for the year, despite being available for fewer than half. Dan Hough and Paul Johnson for acting as unpaid barstaff when at home and to Tony Bendelow for getting out playable strips despite the weather and just as importantly for stepping into the role of Teamaster.