Venue: Broom Road , Teddington
Date: Saturday August 26'th 2017
Type of match: 1987 League division 3 , Overs Game, 45 per side

Stanmore conceded as they were unable to raise a side

Twickenham V - 10 points
Stanmore IV - 0 points

After last week's crucial victory over Edmonton, and with other results going our way, the Ts went into the final two games of the season knowing that one victory would absolutely guarantee safety from relegation and with both games against teams from the lower half of the league table this was deemed achievable. As it turned out this goal was reached without a Zafar Ali 6-wicket haul, a Martin Fairn century, a Paddy Turish fielding master-class nor a Raj Patel hat-trick of stumpings as Stanmore conceded the game on thursday morning to gift Twickenham the vital 10 points.

Skipper Walker was hard at work on his day job , the cricket captaincy and admin duties only a sideline contrary to rumours, when he realised his phone, on silent, had a missed call, an answerphone message and some unread texts. Idly glancing at his email there were two messages in the inbox. On closer inspection of all these communication mediums it became apparent the Stanmore captain had been desperately trying to contact Walker to advise him that Stanmore Fours were unable to raise a side for this weeks encounter. Apparently they were only able to cobble together 6 players from the previous weeks Third and Fourth representatives and they had to scratch the Fours.

Walker confirmed with his opposite number the message had been received and then pondered his next course of action, the most pressing concern ;how to break it to the Fives that they now had a day free of cricket and had to find alternative methods of entertaining themselves on Saturday afternoon. The irony of course, as it turned out, was the weather was absolutely first class and it was the sunniest, warmest, driest day for over a month which went to waste from a cricketing perspective. The good news , apart from receiving the welcome ten league points, was that we did not have to wrestle with the knotty problem of how to get the roller out of the shed (see last weeks report for details) at Broom Road so that is now left to somebody else to deal with. Not a very sporting attitude I grant you but "thems the breaks" as the saying goes. Apologies again.

So what options did the fifth team squad have with regards to Saturday afternoon activities? Here is a brief list of random possibilities:

1) go to watch some of the other Twickenham Elevens in action
2) go to watch some football. Brentford , AFC Wimbledon, Aldershot and Hampton & Richmond were all at home
3) Gardening - surely the lawn needs a cut?
4) Surprise visit to the in-laws...
5) Trip to Ikea to purchase some flat-pack furniture (Dan Hough's favourite)
6) Visit the pub to watch the Test match
7) Go to the horses - Windsor being the local option; Cartmel if you fancied a helicopter trip
8) Take the family for a 'drive-out' in the countryside and end up recreating away trips to Winchmore Hill, Edmonton, Finchley etc by 'diverting' via the North Circular. "oh look kids, that is Edmonton CC. I scored 36 runs there earlier this season..."
9) Rearrange your cd/album collection by a different criteria. A favourite of the skipper. "should I put Dimmu Borgir's latest offering under 'Norwegian', 'Black Metal' or 'Progessive Metal'? MMmmmm. Let me think about that..."
10) Dust the bookshelves
11) That's enough possibilities. You get the idea...

As it turned out I managed to blag a game with the Fourth Eleven (I have friends in high places!) so my Brentford season ticket went unused again and Param Saini came on as a substitute fielder ,for the last 20 overs , in the same game thanks to an injury sustained by Sulthan whilst batting earlier.

The Wounded Giraffe (aka Andy Donelan) headed to the New Forest to recover from his hoof/toe operation the previous day and the rest of the team did their own thing.

Suitably refreshed I fully expect the Ts to come roaring out the blocks to finish the season in style next week away to Lohana 3s.

Phil Walker